No more school ever...

It really hasn't hit me yet that school is over. I suppose it could be because I've still got exams but...
And I managed not to cry at the graduation assembly yesterday! Ok, my eyes watered a little and my lip trembled once but that was only because our year advisor was crying while trying to read her speech. People crying makes me cry for some reason. When it does hit me I'm probably going to bawl into my pillow all night but meh.

18th birthday party to go to tomorrow night, I'm rather apprehensive because most of the people going I used to be friends with until I got fed up with their attitude towards me. They were bitches and jumped down my throat every time I tried to say something. All they could think about was wanting to be popular and I...hated the idea of popularity, I hated the idea of being a sheep like the masses. I wear the clothes that I like and have trouble seeing what people like about the clothes that are in fashion, most of the time I think the clothes are horrid. My former friends never invited me to anything and started calling me emo when I was 13-14 because I wore black and was depressed. I was not and am not emo. I fucking hate emo music. They stopped inviting me to things they were going to and I got fed up and hung out with some other girls in my year. Once we got to know each other they all liked me for me. Blah, blah, story with a happy ending...not so much...I'm still depressed and hateful and people in the streets still call me emo. Like fuck, know what you're talking about before you call someone names, philistines! People really piss me off because I have been ridiculed my entire life. I was the fat kid that everyone picked on. Thanks guys for the low self esteem! Now I'm almost an adult, lost a significant amount of weight but still feel like a fat ugly cow because you ruined my self worth before I even started school. Sticks and stone may break my bones but words can leave permanent mental scaring. Wonderful.
Anyhoo, rant over (I think), back to the party. I'm going to feel awkward because I'll only be friends with maybe three of the people there and they're far less socially inept than me. I have perfected the art of the evil looking wall flower. Hoorah.

First post!

I have another blog but I have decided to stop using it. It was destructive and made my hair weak...Anyhoo, I going to try and avoid what was on my old blog.

I'm 18 at the end of this month (woo! buy my own alcohol!!) and next week is my last week of school ever...What the fuck am I gonna do then? 13 years of my life going to school and now that it's finishing I'm lost. I really hope I don't cry on the last day...Crying is not attractive (especially with my complection...I turn into a tomato...) and I don't want my eyeliner and everything to run everywhere. But knowing me I will cry. I cry at almost anything. I'm the one who always cries in movies and cries when she gets hormonal. I'm the one who cries when an celebrity she vaguely likes dies. I'm the one who cried when Michael Jackson died and I don't even like him! I cry when I'm angry or sad, when someone yells at me or if I eat too much but I don't want to go there.

Right, end of that mini rant.

I'm getting a digital camera for my 18th and I want to use it to document things from life and whatnot on this blog...after I figure out how to post pictures...

I want to document hairstyles and makeup I do and maybe instructions on how I did them...

I'll write more later, I am currently running late for some stupid school fate or whatever.